Should You Do a First Look? Pros, Cons, and Real Wedding Moments
Should You Do a First Look?
Quick Answer:
A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where the couple sees each other for the first time. It can help calm nerves, create an intimate experience, and allow for more photos earlier in the day—but some couples still prefer the traditional aisle reveal for that once-in-a-lifetime reaction.
What Is a First Look?
A first look is when the bride and groom see each other before the ceremony, usually in a quiet, private setting with just the photographer (and sometimes videographer).
It’s often one of the most emotional, peaceful moments of the entire day.
Pros of Doing a First Look
1. It Calms Your Nerves
So many couples are nervous leading up to the ceremony.
A first look gives you a moment to breathe, connect, and remind each other what the day is really about.
2. More Time for Photos
Doing a first look allows you to:
Take couple photos early
Get bridal party photos done
Enjoy more of your cocktail hour
Less rushing, more enjoying.
3. A Private, Intimate Moment
Instead of sharing your first reaction in front of 100+ people, you get a quiet moment that’s just yours.
Many couples exchange private vows during this time—something your guests don’t hear, but you’ll never forget.
Cons of a First Look
1. You Lose the “Aisle Surprise”
There’s something incredibly powerful about that moment when the doors open and you see each other for the first time during the ceremony. For some couples, that moment is everything.
2. It Starts the Day Earlier
A first look means:
Getting ready earlier
Starting photos sooner
For some, that can feel like a long day.
What We See at Berkshire Ridge Near St. Louis
At Berkshire Ridge near St. Louis, we’ve seen both—and honestly, there is no wrong choice.
We’ve seen:
Grooms completely lose it during a first look
Brides walk down the aisle to the most unforgettable reactions
Couples choose a first look so they could fully enjoy cocktail hour with their guests
One of the biggest things we notice is that there’s no single “right” way to experience this moment.
Whether it happens privately before the ceremony or as you walk down the aisle, it’s meaningful because it’s yours.
So… Should You Do a First Look?
It really comes down to this:
Do you want a private, intimate moment together first?
Or do you want that big, emotional aisle reveal?
There is no right or wrong—just what feels right for you.
Alternative First Look Ideas (Beautiful Options to Consider)
At Berkshire Ridge near St. Louis, we’ve seen couples create incredibly meaningful moments—even without doing a traditional first look.
Some of our favorites:
First Touch
Standing back-to-back or around a corner, couples hold hands without seeing each other. It’s a quiet, emotional moment that still preserves the surprise for the aisle.
First Prayer
This couple did a first prayer while holding hands. They did not do a first look.
First Prayer
Some couples choose to pray together before the ceremony—often back-to-back, holding hands. It becomes a grounding, intentional moment centered on faith and the commitment they are about to make.
Private Vows (Before the Ceremony)
Sharing private vows allows you to express your deepest thoughts without an audience.
We’ve seen couples:
Read vows back-to-back without seeing each other
Stand around a corner to preserve the aisle reveal
Share this moment before getting fully dressed
Around-the-Corner Moment
This is a beautiful balance—close enough to connect, while still saving that full visual moment for the ceremony.
Why These Moments Matter
Not every couple wants the same experience—and that’s what makes a wedding day so personal.
These alternatives allow you to stay grounded, share something meaningful in private, and still experience the anticipation of that aisle moment.
Quick Answer
If you don’t want a first look, you can still share a meaningful moment before the ceremony through a first touch, prayer, or private vows without seeing each other.
This version:
Feels more luxury / elevated (not rustic)
Matches your venue brand
Still keeps your heart + storytelling
Final Thoughts
Your wedding day goes by fast. Whether you choose a first look or wait until the ceremony, the most important thing is that the moment feels authentic to you.
Those are the moments you’ll remember forever.
Frequently Asked Questions About First Looks
Is a first look worth it?
Some couples love the private moment it creates, while others prefer the anticipation of the ceremony. Both are meaningful—it simply comes down to what feels right for you.
Do you still get a reaction at the aisle if you do a first look?
Yes. Many couples still experience an emotional reaction during the ceremony—it’s just a different kind of moment.
Can you do a first look with your dad instead?
Absolutely. First looks aren’t just for couples—many brides choose to share that moment with a parent or someone meaningful in their life.
Does a first look ruin tradition?
Not at all. It’s simply a more modern option. Many couples choose what best reflects their relationship and how they want to experience their day.
What time should a first look happen on a wedding day?
A first look typically happens about 1.5 to 2.5 hours before the ceremony, depending on your timeline and how many photos you want to complete ahead of time.
Many couples use this time for couple portraits, bridal party photos, and some family photos so the rest of the day feels more relaxed. Your photographer and planner will help build a timeline that fits your day and keeps everything flowing naturally.
At Berkshire Ridge near St. Louis, we often see couples use this time to take advantage of the natural light and scenic spaces before guests arrive.
From Our Venue to Your Love Story - Kim
About Berkshire Ridge
Berkshire Ridge is a wedding venue located in Blackwell, Missouri, serving couples near St. Louis, Festus, Arnold, Hillsboro, Farmington, and surrounding Southeast Missouri communities.
The venue offers outdoor ceremony options, scenic views, and a spacious indoor reception hall, making it an ideal location for weddings of all styles.
To learn more, schedule a tour, or check availability, call or text 314-605-2265 or visit Berkshire Ridge online.
Berkshire Ridge is a locally owned and operated business just south of St. Louis, Missouri. We sincerely hope to encourage our couples to learn more about the value and importance of choosing a locally owned business when it is time to book your wedding venue and vendors. Locally owned venues will offer a high level of hospitality, attentive communication and a desire to ensure your wedding exceeds expectations. We are thrilled to support wedding venue owners from around the country with a shout out in our blog!